"Fantasy is what they want, but reality is what they need. I've just retired from the fantasy.." Lauryn HIll
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Ok, so that was cheesy, but it sounded good in my head. That is exactly what I need to do. I need to breathe. I think in this season of life things can easily get overwhelming,and I can allow my self to slip into despair. It's crazy when you realize that things that you have held as truths all you life are big fat LIES! Even things that you know are lies..like" If I am doing good things for God, He will bless me." What a load of crap! Even though I know this is a lie, my mind and the Devil still wants me to believe this. It's slightly, ok, more than slightly RIDICULOUS! That's just an example. I am learning or more so excepting that I and quick to doubt. I use to think Thomas ( " Doubting Thomas") was a little ridiculous even though everyone slightly thought he was cool. I am for sure having to eat those words. God has been in a place where He is inviting me into the ring, for a "dance,' if you will.. usually people call it a wrestling match. He is inviting me to wrestle with Him over the hard issues of life... the hurts,pains, hang-ups, and I gotta admit.. It's scares me to death! I was talking to Kate about this, and I think it scares me because, I know that I can't half way do this. Hulk Hogan never halfway wrestled The Giant. ( had to do a wrestling reference)It's either all or nothing, and thats not safe at all. It is VERY DANGEROUS, and some would say SUICIDAL!! But if Jesus is who I say He is.. then I have to walk this road, and its a road I have to travel myself. So I don't know what to expect,but I know that I am going to find the ANSWER...